American Public Needs Easy Credit

Tuesday, July 3, 2012, 2:00 AM | Leave Comment

Even though the U.S. Government has showered banks with money and lots of it, many folks still have problems of getting credit. In this modern economy, almost all men and women need credit. Whether the credit comes in the shape of credit cards, mortgages, student loans and personal loans, we all need it. There seems to be no escape from it.

Anyway, I am asking you to give me credit; not much, just a billion dollars will do.

Have a heart and lend me the money…

These days, we keep hearing about trillions and trillions of dollars. What the heck is a billion? Especially among friends. We are friends, ain’t we?

Well! At least I think so. You know why I thinks so, Alice. I tell you why I think we are friends. I need money, that’s why. Doesn’t that make us friends?

If you think that doesn’t melt your heart down – I heard it somewhere, I don’t know what that means – nothing in this world will.

Don’t be just a stone lying around in everyone’s path. We are friends. Have a big heart. I need the money. You have the money. Be a good friend. Give me the money, won’t you please? I said please, didn’t I?

I ain’t got no more friends left in this rotten money world of yours. They are all bankrupt. Mortgage, credit cards, debt, the schmucks of the world, the Madoff’s. You name it and my friends have been bitten by it.

I don’t even wanna think about those friends. I wanna start a new life. Let bygones be bygones. I wanna be your friend.

Why all those questions? I just want the money…

Your questions are hard to understand. Don’t make no sense. They don’t comprehend with me.

I need the money. You have the money. All you gotta do is give me the money. Is that too much to ask?

Why should you ask me questions? “What are you gonna do with the money?” You are not my father. My father is dead.

I will do with the money whatever I very well damn please. Who are you to ask me questions like that? You make-a-me mad, man.

I am the American public. I am not accountable to anyone…

Accountability? What the heck is that? Don’t you know what Napoleon said once about the word or more like the concept “impossible”?

Well! Accountability is not in my dictionary or better yet, it’s not in my vocabulary. Don’t you ever try to talk to me about that. I don’t even wanna say it. I don’t wanna think about it. That’s not in my person.

I am not asking you for a trillion dollar. Can’t you get that into your thick head, the thickest of them all – even though that won’t be such a bad idea either.

Let me think about that later. But right now, it’s only a measly billion I am asking for. It’s just a million spelled with a b, that’s all. Gee! So picky. Wow!

Why should you talk about accountability? Who the heck are you? I need the money, not you.

You have the Treasury. You own the currency mint factory. I don’t. Print out some money, what the heck? Is that too much to ask? Gee! I am trying to help you. I am doing you a favor.

I have a finger on the layoff button. Don’t make me do what I really want to do. I have always wanted to push that button.

American public…

You think I am gonna sit here all day long begging you for money. Well you are wrong, mister. I would declare bankruptcy if you didn’t give me my money.

The Treasury… The Feds…

No, no. Please. Don’t do that. I give you the money. And I don’t have to print the extra money either. I am the Treasury.

I have heard printing more paper money creates inflation. Hey! I am the Treasury. I am the Feds. You know what that means. That means I know a little about the economy. Maybe not much but still enough to make laws of the money land.

I know about inflation and recession and depression, and Monday, Wednesday, Sunday, Saturday. Maybe not much, but enough to get by, at least till the next election.

I got passing grades in high school. I am now considered the expert on the economy. At least I like to think so.

And you know what? I don’t have to print the money. I will get you the money no matter what.

The Chinese and the Russians and the Arabs and … have lots of it. I am gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse.

Moral of the story
There is no moral of the story. I am sick and tired. I am the American Public. I just wanna stretch my legs and take a nap and as usual think about nothing which has become my second nature.

Thinking about nothing is my basic right. That ought to be in the constitution. Think about nothing. It’s a show about nothing anyway.

What do you think?
Or perhaps you are like me. You think about nothing, neither or is it either? What the heck and what the heck to everything. I watch the news everyday. I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don’t. There is no escape, is there?

I am always the third in the equation. I am the American Public. Don’t you forget that? And don’t always blame me for all the problems of the American economy.

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