Tuesday, October 5, 2010, PM | Leave Comment
There are a variety of ways to secure a job. All must be honest and based on a candidate’s professional qualifications. Whether you are male or female candidate for a job, your qualifications – education and experience – matter or should matter the most to a potential employer.
That’s the way it ought to be.
That’s how a nation can progress and move forward and attain its standing and make it better among the nations of the world.
However, that’s not always true. We all know that. Get a load of this. Imagine a network news guy interviewing the first upright human-like shape who seems to be the leader of his pack.
TV guy: “Sir! How do you plan to get a job in this financially barren land of yours?”
The first upright human-like shape: “Well son! [and he would be right calling him son]. This time, I want to impress my future employers with something different.”
TV guy: “Well, grandpa to the nth power. How are you gonna do that?”
The first upright human-like shape: “I have some self-shot pictures of my pair.”
TV guy: “What pair? I don’t understand. Explain please grandpa to the nth power.”
The first upright human-like shape: “You know what I am talking about – the pair!
TV guy: “But sir, you are a man. You ain’t got no pair. Men don’t have no pair. Instead, yours is full of hair.”
The first upright human-like shape: “What do you mean, no pair but hair? What difference does it make?”
TV guy: “Well sir! I don’t think the Human Resources (HR) rep is gonna look at them favorably. Your self-shots would go straight in the waste basket.”
The first upright human-like shape: “Well, my son! If some women have started sending bare-pair self-shots, why can’t I send them my bare-hair self-shots?”
TV guy: “Like I said, they got pair. You ain’t got no pair. All you got is hair but no pair.”
At this juncture, The first upright human-like shape took out a pear and said: Will this work?
TV guy: “Sir! That’s a pear not a pair. You gotta have a pair.”
The first upright human-like shape: “I don’t see no difference between pair and pear. You know! English is not my first language. I say both the same.”
TV guy: “Well! Some HR departments may have a firewall behind which they have pair but no hair.”
The first upright human-like shape: “I have all sorts of computers in my cave – the best hardware, the best software and they are all updated with security patches.”
TV guy: “That don’t matter to HR. It has a different world of its own.”
The first upright human-like shape: “Then how do I break through the HR firewall?”
TV guy: “HR is one of the biggest mysteries on this earth. I wish I knew. I wish anybody knew. You break through the firewall, you have a chance to get a job. Luckily some don’t differentiate between pair with no hair and hair with no pair.”
The first upright human-like shape: “You mean I should just sit around and not send my hair with no pair self-shots.”
TV guy: “Well Sir! You are gonna have to do something to get a job. The job consultants charging huge fees will tell you that you have many choices. However, sending your bare-hair with no pair may not be a good choice. Choices make a nation a free nation, don’t they?”
The first upright human-like shape: “But then what else. WHAT, WHAT?”
In a Nutshell
Over at Deadspin (NSFW), they got an email offering to trade bare-pair self-shots in exchange for a job lead. See for yourself. For some male HR, it may be bonanza and made in heaven. For some female HR, it may be bonanza and made in heaven as well.