SEC Officials Exposed Downloading, Uploading Porn At Work

Saturday, April 24, 2010, AM | Leave Comment

In the good old days, I wrote an article describing and comparing Madoff, SEC and the consumers. During the 10 years that The Securities and Exchange Commission – commonly known as SEC – was aware of Madoff, at one point in the article I said SEC was asleep and I said SEC may not be human but it does need its sleep once in a while.

Well, I was wrong or perhaps not 100% right. A new SEC internal report obtained by ABC News says some very high and senior officials of the agency were surfing porn during the financial crisis [So what else is new?]

Some of the offenders – oops! alleged offenders – were senior SEC officers whose salaries ranged from $100,000 to $222,000 per year.

Hey! I would do anything for that kind of money. I would surf the shit out of porn. [Did I say that right?]

They would not comment on any specific cases when the news agency approached some officials of the SEC. [Who is at fault – Madoff, SEC or a Third?]

Excerpts from the report

  • An SEC accountant attempted to access porn websites 1,800 times in a two-week period and had 600 pornographic images on her computer hard drive. [Did I read that right – on her computer? Not to be gender-biased but I always thought it was the man’s domain to go on this kind of adventure.]
  • One senior attorney at SEC headquarters in Washington spent up to eight hours a day accessing Internet porn. When he filled all the space on his government computer with pornographic images, he downloaded more to CDs and DVDs that accumulated in boxes in his offices. [It’s the taxpayers fault. They should have given them bigger hard drive – No pun intended.]
  • Another SEC accountant attempted to access porn sites 16,000 times in a single month. [Let’s see. 16,000 divided into 22 days (30 – 8 days of weekends) comes out to be 727 times a day.

Eight hours a day spent on porn sites on taxpayers money

Does anybody in the government really believe their pay comes from the innocent taxpayers that they have to work smarter and more efficiently? Get real. Nobody in their right mind believes that. It’s free money. Why would anybody work for free money? [Why shouldn’t David Cerullo build a $4M home?]

Are taxpayers responsible for their extra hard drive?

Looks like more hard drive in SEC is quite in great demand. Are the American people responsible for their extra hard drive? Can’t they get the hard drive at home? I know what you thinking. Does he mean…? No I don’t mean that extra hard drive. What I mean is hard drive on their home computer.

Your porn dollars at work

You know? When I drive on a highway or local street, sometimes I see a sign saying “Your tax dollars at work.” Rumor has it SEC is changing that. From now on, the sign would say “Your porn dollars at work.”

I bet some guys (and gals – they don’t wanna be left behind) are smiling and saying to each other “Hey! That’s a great idea.” The f*** with you all SEC guys and gals.

SOB under the First amendment

You did what you did. That’s your basic right or is it?. Don’t tell me you did this under the first amendment. Free speech, free money, no work, extra [computer] hard drive. Stand up for your rights now, you goddamn SOBs.

English not being my first language, I always get confused between SEC and SOB. Well! Both acronyms start with S anyway. It ain’t my fault. Like Flip Wilson used to say “The devil made me do it.”

In a Nutshell
I always say in a nutshell. This is a nutshell. Only nuts in SEC can live in a shell. It’s a good thing SEC is not human. It is just an acronym [Speaking English without the use of Acronyms is hard.] What can you expect from an acronym? I bet the punishment would be a slap on the wrist if even that.

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